Diner Watch
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir, it’s not that hot! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Jokes Ltd
False Testimony Yes
In the High Court: “Do you know what you get for false testimony?” “Yes, they promised me a Mercedes… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Englishman Irishman
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotch man are sitting in a pub full of people. The Englishman says, “The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free”. Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. The Scottish man says, “. . yeah. That’s quite … Read more
Terrible News
George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer’s firm, and was ushered into his office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Well, if those are my choices, I guess I’ll take the bad news first. … Read more
Weren’t Wouldn’t Exploded
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money I wouldn’t be here. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
Politician Interrupted Well
A politician went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: “Sir, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side. “ The politician interrupted, “Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? I thought everybody … Read more
Others Raise
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. “That’s my pager, “he says. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm. “ A few minutes later a phone rings. The second … Read more
Cousin Dan
A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will. “To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million, “the attorney reads. “To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I left … Read more
Drunk Shouts Hit
Two drunks are sitting side by side in a bar. One of the drunks goes to the bathroom but neglects to button up his fly when he’s finished. He staggers back to the bar, sits on a bar stool, and his penis flops out on the bartop. The other drunk yells, ‘Snake!’ and hits the … Read more
Wrong Face
A really bad impressionist walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the wrong face?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.