Jokes Ltd A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident to find a car smashed into a tree. The officer rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, “Are you seriously hurt?” “How should I know?” the driver responds. “I’m not a lawyer!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
Paddy asks Murphy, ‘Why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?” Murphy replies, “If they fell forwards they’d still be on the fucking boat!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Shop assistant: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small. Shop assistant: You didn’t even try it on? Psychic: I’m a medium. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man went to the doctor, “Doctor, every night in my dream I am playing soccer. “ Doctor says, “Take these pills, they will help you sleep better. “ The man said, “I can’t take them, tonight is the final game. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building — a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself. Shirley says, “Sophie, you know I’m shy. Why don’t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He … Read more
A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?” “We don’t have any money for food, “the poor man replied. “We have to eat … Read more
Roger was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweler’s shop. The jeweler inquired, “Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?” Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, “No, instead engrave ‘To my one and only love’. “ The jeweler smiled and said, “Yes, … Read more
A police chief, a fire chief, and a city attorney were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city. Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer welcomed them in, but cautioned them that … Read more
An FBI agent was interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit: “Did you notice anything special about the man?” asks the agent. “Yes, “replied the teller. “He was better dressed each time. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
Jim was having a shit in the train toilet today, when some bloke knocked on the door. He said, “Can I see your ticket please?” “Not right now” Jim shouted, “I’m having a shit!” He said, “I don’t believe you, can you pass it under the door?” “No problem, “Jim said, sliding it under. “The … Read more