Jokes Ltd

Curb Cars Cop

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A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, “Can I park here?” “No, “says the cop. “What about all these other cars?” “They didn’t ask!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Ma’am Explained

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A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding. As he was giving her the ticket, she said, “How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning? Is it my face?” “No, ma’am, “explained the officer, “it’s your foot. “ This joke … Read more

Portable Keyboard Along

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A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better. “ One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope … Read more

Fall Off

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A businessman returns from Thailand. After a few days he notices strange growth on his penis. He sees several doctors. They all say: “You’ve been screwing around in Thailand, very common there, no cure. We’ll have to cut it off. “ The man panics, but figures if it is common in Thailand they must know … Read more

Those Pills

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Doctor: “Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?” Patient: “What pills?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Steering Wheel Pants

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A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The Bartender says, “Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?” The man replies “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Lawyer’s Funeral

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A man is at his lawyer’s funeral and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. “Why are you all at this man’s funeral?” A man turns towards him and says, “We’re all clients. “ “And you all came to pay your respects? How touching. “ “No, … Read more

Raced Faster Sure

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The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey. “Jeremy, could you not have raced faster?” “Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more

Lies Down

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An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks, “Why are you going to sleep on the floor?” The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change. “ This joke … Read more

Bob Smells

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Two brothers, Bob and George, both work for a lumberyard. One day, Bob tells George that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it. Unbelieving, George blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory. The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as maple. The second piece Bob … Read more