Jokes Ltd

John Won

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John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the … Read more

Won’t Let

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As a man serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let him know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale. “I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something, “she suggested. “I don’t have a girlfriend, “he answered. “No girlfriend? Why not?” “My wife won’t … Read more

Girlfriend Responded Great

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While he was spending time with one of his best friends, Jake received a text message. His girlfriend texted him and asked him if he would like to spend the weekend watching football games, eating chicken wings, and drinking beer. This excited Jake, because he thought he had already found the perfect mate, so he … Read more

Phone Rang

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The new office-boy came into his boss’s office and said, “I think you’re wanted on the phone, Sir. “ “What do you mean, you think?” demanded the boss. “Well, Sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said “Is that you, you old fool?” This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more

Phone Down

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A lawyer has just settled down in his new office. So now, he is thinking about what he can do to have clients. After a long time thinking, a man comes into the office. Right away, the lawyer decides to make his new plan take action. So he picks up the phone and says: “Unfortunately, … Read more

Twenty Bucks Please

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A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. “Hello, Doctor, says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!” says the doctor, “I see the … Read more

Coffin Crashes

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Two men were loading up a hearse with a coffin on a steep incline. After they loaded the cargo, they both get into the vehicle. As they start to pull away, the back door swings wide open and the coffin crashes to the ground and starts sliding down the incline, across the intersection, into the … Read more

Medical Reasons

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Girl: “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons. “ Boy: “Really?” Girl: “Yeah, you make me sick!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Job He’s

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Rita is complaining to her friends about her husband’s extreme dedication to his new job. You see, Rita’s husband has been jobless for quite a while. She tells her friends, “I appreciate the fact that at last he’s found a new job, but I don’t like him taking his work home and finishing it in … Read more

Joke

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Patient goes to the Doctor, and the doctor starts looking at him… “Good, good, good…” “Doctor, what’s good?” “Good that I don’t have what you have… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.