Jokes Ltd A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going, and she replied, “I’m going to Las Vegas. “ He questioned her as to why and she told him, “I just found out that I can make … Read more
Wanting to have a quick love-making session, the couple told their eight year old son to go stand on the balcony with a popsicle and to report to them all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into action. “There’s a car being towed from the parking lot, “he … Read more
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling. She explained, “I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one … Read more
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: “I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that. “ The other student says: “No, I don’t … Read more
A young lad went to a tailor shop in Scotland. He told the tailor, “I’d like ye to make me a kilt with this material here, and if ye don’t mind, I’d like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings. “ … Read more
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he … Read more
A director’s wife hears that her husband has a new secretary. The director comes home and the wife starts putting questions: “Does this new secretary of yours have nice legs?” “I don’t know. “ “What color do her eyes have?” “I didn’t notice… “ “But about dressing, how does she dress?” “Very fast… “ This … Read more
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. “What’s that big brass gong for?” one of the guests asked. “Why, that’s the talking clock, “the man replied. “How does it work?” “Watch”, the man said, giving … Read more
As a man serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let him know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale. “I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something, “she suggested. “I don’t have a girlfriend, “he answered. “No girlfriend? Why not?” “My wife won’t … Read more
While he was spending time with one of his best friends, Jake received a text message. His girlfriend texted him and asked him if he would like to spend the weekend watching football games, eating chicken wings, and drinking beer. This excited Jake, because he thought he had already found the perfect mate, so he … Read more