Jokes Ltd A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up ahead of him, went to her and asked her “Can you please help me? I don’t know what hole I’m on. “ She told him “You are one hole behind me. I’m on 7; you’re on 6. “ He … Read more
Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, “You should see that woman they brought in today. She’d been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle. “ “Ew!” says the other fellow. “It was green?” “No, it was sour!” This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but doesn’t come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and says “Edna, I’ve got some good news … Read more
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel’s elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, “Armani, $100 an ounce. “ On the next floor, an equally beautiful woman steps on and says, “Chanel, $150 an ounce. “ The old lady’s floor approaches and as … Read more
A man takes examinations for the driver’s license for the fourth year in a row. The examiner asks him “So, you’re running on the street. You have a mountain on your right and there’s a cliff on your left. There are two women in your way; one young and the other an old woman. Which … Read more
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. “How do you account for this?” he asked the brothers. “It’s hereditary, sir, “the older one replied. “I see, “said the doctor, writing in his file. “Your … Read more
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. “Ladies, exercise is good for you, “announced the teacher. Walking is especially … Read more
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed-off and watched in horror as the ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to … Read more
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You don’t want to try these techniques at home. “ “Why not?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years, “the expert explained. “She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a … Read more