Jokes Ltd A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his arse!” The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the … Read more
At a men’s clothing store, a customer asked the shop assistant to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband’s blue eyes stand out. “Ma’am, “he explained, “any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A lawyer and an accountant were having cocktails in the Caribbean. The lawyer said “I’m here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. “ “That’s quite a coincidence”, said the accountant, “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed … Read more
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. “I just can’t stand my mother-in-law, “sighs one. “That’s quite understandable, “nods the other one, “Why don’t you just have the potatoes with the gravy?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. “Well, “says the doctor, “I can do the facelift, and then you’ll have to come back in six months for a follow-up. “ “Oh, no. “the woman replies. “I want it all done in one shot. I don’t want to have to come … Read more
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly. “ On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?” “Yes”, the boy’s mother answered. “And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked. … Read more
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting … Read more
A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine. At the first taste she says: “Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998” and all the people were amazed. At the 2nd try she answered “Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953” and they were once again amazed. … Read more
A woman is approaching a small bar. She calls the barkeeper and when he is standing in front of her she asks him in a very seductive way to come nearer. Then she bends over the desk and starts to caress his beard. “Are you the boss of this bar?” she asks and touches his … Read more