Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms. We have some for 75 cents a piece. The man asks for two. The pharmacist calculates the total and says, “That will be $1. 58 with tax, sir. “ The pollock says, “Oh, these come with tacks? I was wondering how … Read more
James and Neil were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch their favorite club games. They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next (A16) to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have seats together. One … Read more
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings. Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy. “ “Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?” … Read more
“But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!” the society matron protested. “Can’t you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?” “You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn, “soothed the police officer. “I’ll just put it … Read more
On a transatlantic flight was a lively youngster who nearly drove everyone crazy. He was running up and down the aisle when the flight attendant started serving coffee. He ran smack into her, knocking a cup of coffee out of her hand and onto the floor. As he stood by watching her clean up the … Read more
A policeman is driving along the road when he gets an urgent message on his radio telling him there has been a dead body found in an ice cream van just down the road. He rushes to the scene where he discovers a man’s body, with chocolate flakes up each nostril, raspberry sauce all over … Read more
Rushing up to a large airline’s ticket counter, a man gasped, “Miss, please help me. I have to get to Chicago in the worst way!” The clerk calmly pointed to her left and said, “Sir, that would be the airline next to us. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper … Read more
“Nothing looks good on me anymore, “wailed a customer modeling an outfit in front of the department store’s mirror. “Nonsense, ma’am, “soothed the salesclerk. “That dress says it all. “ “That’s the problem, “the woman replied. “I need a dress that keeps its mouth shut. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
A doctor remarked on his patients, ruddy complexion. “I know” the patient said “It’s high blood pressure, it’s from my family. “Your mother’s side, or father’s side?” questioned the doctor. Neither, my wife’s. “What?” the doctor said “that can’t be, how can you get it from your wife’s family?” “Oh yeah, “the patient responded, “You … Read more