Headed Home
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: Disneyland Left. So they started crying and headed home. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Jokes Ltd
Emergency Repair Kit
Peter was helping Jeniffer, the blonde, clean out the trunk of her car. Inside, he noticed a bag labeled “Emergency Repair Kit”. Looking at it a little closer, he noticed a stick of dynamite inside. Thinking that was a bit strange, he asked Jeniffer what it was for. She said, “It’s part of my emergency … Read more
Green Golf Balls
A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around, frowning. Finally the pro asks her what she wants. “I can’t find any green golf balls, “the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are … Read more
Pickle Slicer
Josh has worked in a pickle factory for several years. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Josh vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. A … Read more
Urine Test
Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying. “Why are you crying?” asked the other child. “I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger. “ When he heard this, the other child started to cry. “Why are you crying?” “I’m here for a urine … Read more
Shouldn’t Wear
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party in a bar. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned: “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit. “And why not, darling?”, the father asked. You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. “ This joke is included in … Read more
Which Johnny
Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word ‘definitely’ in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, “Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?” The Teacher says, “Of course not Johnny, “ To which Johnny replies, “Then I have definitely shit my pants then… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
Student Gandhi
Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Gas Men
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they … Read more
Alarm System
Passing an office building late one night, a little Johnny saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman. “ He did so, and after several minutes he heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The old, uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally … Read more