Jokes Ltd 
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last … Read more
A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island. The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts. The man thinks to himself, “What if there are other people on the island? Then we won’t be stranded!” He threw coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated. Everybody looks at him cross. … Read more
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. “If I do 150mph, will you take off your clothes?” he asked. “Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he speeded up to 150mph, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on … Read more
A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, “Is it true what Rita just told me?” “What’s that?” asks her mother. “Do babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?” said her daughter. “Yes it is dear!” replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up … Read more
A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: “Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom. “ One day her doorbell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door. He says: “I … Read more
“Doc, I think my son has VD, “a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid. “ “Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid, “the medic soothed, “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him. “ “But I’ve been screwing the … Read more
A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walked in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, “Oh well,I better get home. My wife doesn’t like me to stay out during late night. “ The first guy replies, “I’ll help you out of this. … Read more
A man went to the doctor’s office to get a double dose of Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn’t allow him a double dose. “Why not?” asked the man. “Because it’s not safe, “replied the doctor. “But I need it really badly, “said the man. “Well, why do you need it so badly?” … Read more
While watching TV with his wife, a man tosses peanuts into the air and catches them in his mouth. Just as he throws another peanut into the air, the front door opens, causing him to turn his head. The peanut falls into his ear and gets stuck. His daughter comes in with her date. The … Read more
One day, a spaceship landed in a farmer’s field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple to his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so … Read more