Jokes Ltd Two women met in heaven who were previous acquaintances on earth. One said, “I can’t believe you’re here so soon, what happened?” She exclaimed, “I froze to death!” The other said, “That’s terrible, how’d it happen?” “Well I started shivering uncontrollably, fell asleep and here I am!” Then she asked how her friend died. She … Read more
One morning the lion is feeling especially ferocious. He sauntered over to a monkey swinging in a tree and roared, “Who’s the king of this jungle?” The monkey scampered down from the tree, bows to the lion and stammered, “Wh. . wh… why you are Mr. Lion. “ A few minutes later, the lion comes … Read more
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted. “ Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing… “You can have mine!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Husband: “Honey, why do you usually answer me back with a question when I ask you a question?” Wife: “Is that what I do?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
“I’m suffering dreadfully from insomnia. I’ve tried all sorts of remedies, but I can find nothing that will send me to sleep. “ “Why don’t you try talking to yourself?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A politician visited a remote little rural village and asked the inhabitants what the government could do for them. “We have two big needs, “said the village headman. “First, we have a hospital but no doctor. “ The politician whipped out his cellphone, spoke for a while and then said, “I have sorted it out. … Read more
An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, “Perhaps, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. “ The old woman says without … Read more
Phil’s neighbor just got arrested for growing marijuana. Phil then realized that his property line isn’t where he thought it was. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The train was about to pull out of the station. A young man ran towards it and managed to throw his bag in and climb aboard just in time. A fellow passenger looked at him and said, “Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a … Read more