Jokes Ltd

Long Hair

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Over a drink in the evening the discussion turned to length of hair… Mr. Jones: “Don’t you think long hair on a man makes him look intellectual?” Mr. Smith: “That depends. My wife found a long hair on my coat sleeve yesterday. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more

Jerk Murphy

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Murphy was standing in front of the city hall when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Murphy got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, “I stopped it!” “I know, you idiot!” … Read more

Air Traffic Controller

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Air traffic controller: “Flight 1234, for noise reduction, turn right 45 degrees. “ Airline pilot: “But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?” Air Traffic controller: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?” This joke is included in the Black … Read more

Long Without Water

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Two guys are standing on a rooftop. The first one looked down and asked, “Hey, if I jump down from here, how long do you think it would take me to reach the ground?” Second one then also looked down and said, “Well, it’s pretty high up here. I think it would take at least … Read more

Traffic Violation

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When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a school teacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a school teacher to appear before this court, “he smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not pass through … Read more

I’ve Lost Pounds

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Two women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, “Seems like all my boyfriend and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset I’ve lost 20 pounds in two weeks. “ “Why don’t you just leave him then?” asked her friend. “Not yet, “the first replied, “I’d like to … Read more

Dry Cleaner

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A girl walks into a dry cleaner. She drops off her dress and turns to leave. The woman behind the counter says, “Come again!”. She says, “No it was toothpaste this time. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Friend Surrounded

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Two friends die and one goes to Heaven while the other goes to Hell. The one that goes to Heaven begs the angel to let him visit his friend in Hell, and the angel agrees. He gets to Hell and sees his friend surrounded by beautiful women and alcohol everywhere. He says to his friend, … Read more