Jokes Ltd A man in a bar had a couple of beers, and the bartender told him he owed 4 dollars. “But I paid, don’t you remember?” said the customer. “Okay, “said the bartender. “If you say you paid, you did. The man then went outside and told a friend that the bartender couldn’t keep track of … Read more
Father: “Son, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked 12 miles to school. “ Son: “Dad, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Teacher: “I hope I didn’t see you looking at Timmy’s test paper?” Little Johnny: “I hope you didn’t see me either!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The divorce proceedings had been long, contentious and extremely heated. Finally, the husband’s attorney rose for one last try at a no-alimony divorce. “Your Honor, “he said, “my client sincerely believes his wife is just being ridiculous. Why, most women would love to have a husband who still believes in chivalry, and on the day … Read more
A man, in his carefree bachelor days, had been very fond of a Washington restaurant which specialized in waffles with honey. Year after year he had visited this place to get this very delectable meal, so when he married, he decided to take his wife there so they could share the pleasure together. He did … Read more
A sergeant gives a private a hard time. He says, “Private, I bet you are just waiting for me to die so you can come and urinate on my grave!” The private replied, “No sir, when I get out of the army I am not going to stand in long, long lines!” This joke is … Read more
The pastor of a local church was visited by a man evidently worse for liquor, and a young lady. She said to the minister, “Please, sir, we’ve come to be married. “ “I can’t marry you with this man in this condition, “said the clergyman. “Besides, haven’t you been here twice before, and haven’t I … Read more
A young Navy officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he wasn’t physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance. … Read more
An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn’t find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the … Read more
Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?” Soldier: “Sure, buddy. “ Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now let’s try it again. Do you have change for a dollar?” Soldier: “No, Sir!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.