Jokes Ltd A woman was visiting the zoo when she passed two workmen that were crying. “Why are you guys crying?” she asked. One replied, “One of the elephants just died. “ “The big elephant must have been your favorite animal in the zoo?” she asked. “No, Ma’am– love has nothing to do with it. The boss … Read more
A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. He took a chute and jumped. The priest looks and the young boy, and … Read more
A plane was taking off. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 392, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. … Read more
A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution. “Great idea!” the chicken cried. “Let’s offer them ham and eggs!” “Not so fast, “said the pig. “For you, … Read more
Two skydivers, Oliver and Robert, jumped out of the plane and were having a conversation on the way down. Robert: “I was in a hurry this morning, and I can’t remember if I asked you to pack my chute for me. “ Oliver: “I’ve been pretty forgetful myself. I’m lucky I remembered to pack mine. … Read more
Two hunters are in the forest. Bob: I just met a great big bear in the woods. Mike: Did you give him both barrels? Bob: Both barrels? I gave him the whole gun. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A snail was involved in an accident that resulted in his shell being torn completely off. Hearing about the accident, one of his friends rushed over ,as much as a snail can rush to his friend’s house. “I heard about your accident!” he exclaimed, and then asked, “How are you feeling?” The recovering snail answered, … Read more
A blonde, not super-bright woman was learning to fly a helicopter. After two hours of great flying, she crashed. When asked by the crash investigator what happened, she said, “I got cold so I turned off the fan. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
During a flight in an airplane, an educational psychologist was preparing his notes for one of the parent education seminars he conducted regularly. The elderly woman sitting next to him explained that she was returning home after having spent a month visiting her six children, seven grandchildren and ten great grandchildren. Then she inquired what … Read more
A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. “No problem, “the engineer thought, and carried on at half-power. Further on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers … Read more