Jokes Ltd A man in a hurry taking his ten-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. “Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!” the man said. “It’s okay, Dad, “the boy said, “The police car right behind us did the same thing. “ This joke is included … Read more
A guy finds his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house. He gives it a bath, blows dry its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbor’s house, hoping they will think … Read more
A man is watching TV supping the fourth can from his six pack. “Don’t go”, he suddenly yells at the screen. “Do not enter that building. Turn around and walk away. Aargh, you stupid man. “ His wife calls from the kitchen, “What are you watching, honey?” “Our wedding video, “he bravely answers. This joke … Read more
A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says “I’ve got a Rolls Royce — keep it until the loan is paid off — here are the keys. “ The loan … Read more
A couple boarded a modern jetliner for a trip to New York. The jetliner gets full of passengers and they are to go but they notice that there are no attendants or pilots. The door closes and the jetliner starts taxing down the taxiway towards the runway and starts to take off as they are … Read more
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later. “ The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way. “ After the MPs ran off, … Read more
A 75-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow. “ The next day the 75-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, … Read more
Two good ol’ boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Bubba says, “Hey, Junior – there’s the best Club in the city. Let’s you and me stop in and have a drink. “ “But we’re private, “protests Junior. “NO, we’s sergeants now, “says … Read more
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well, “he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” … Read more