Jokes Ltd Two good ol’ boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Bubba says, “Hey, Junior – there’s the best Club in the city. Let’s you and me stop in and have a drink. “ “But we’re private, “protests Junior. “NO, we’s sergeants now, “says … Read more
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well, “he said, “I’ve been seeing this girl for a while and she’s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight’s “the” … Read more
A man went to his lawyer and told him, ‘My neighbor owes me £500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?’ ‘Do you have any proof he owes you the money?’ asked the lawyer. ‘Nope,’ replied the man. ‘OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,500 he owed you,’ said … Read more
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, … Read more
A spaceman landed on the moon. To his surprise he saw a little shop ahead of him, with the name above it: “Isaac Cohen, BESPOKE TAILORS. “ Curious, he went into the shop. A surprised looking man appeared behind the counter. “Who are you?” he asked. “I’m a spaceman, “replied the spaceman. The man closed … Read more
A man goes skydiving. After a fantastic free fall he pulls the ripcord to open his parachute but nothing happens. He tries everything but can’t get it open. Just then another man flies by him, going up. The skydiver yells, “Hey, you know anything about parachutes? The man replies, “No, you know anything about gas … Read more
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, “You know, a pint goes … Read more
Joey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc, “he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. “you gotta help me, I’m going crazy!” “Just put yourself in my hands for two … Read more
A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. A man didn’t come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had … Read more
A man walks into a bar and notices his friend sitting alone staring at a tiny man on the table playing the piano. “Wow, look how small he is, where did you get him?!” Says the man. “Oh, well there’s this genie round the back of the bar, and he grants you whatever wish you … Read more