Jokes Ltd Edward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. “Can I help you, fella?”, asks the cop. “Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!” Edward replies. The cop asks, “Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?”. “It … Read more
There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out. “You’re Drunk!” exclaimed the police officer. “Thank God for that!” said the drunk, “I thought the steering had gone. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast. On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, “Hi sister Jane, “by which sister Jane says, “I see you got off on the wrong side of the … Read more
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors, “he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in … Read more
At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. “Let me at him, I can help … Read more
This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits. She sits down, raises her arm, and says, “Bartender, I would like a drink. “ There’s an old drunk sitting next to her. Slurring, he says, “Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink. “ She … Read more
A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter. The cashier asks, “Do you have a dog sir?” “Yes, it’s at home, “replies the man. “To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy, … Read more
A guy calls his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, “Who is this?” “This is the maid, “answered the woman. “We don’t have a maid!” “I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house. “ “Well, this is her husband. Is she there?” “Ummm…she’s upstairs in … Read more
A blondie calls the airline office in Dallas and asks, “How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?” The clerk says to her, “Just a second. “ The woman says “Thank you”, and hangs up. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and hugged her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her. “ “You … Read more