Jokes Ltd Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then the three men are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison … Read more
A very old woman realizes that she’s seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart. Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of … Read more
Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asked him how he was feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the word the doctor used in surgery, “he answered. “What did he say?, “asked the nurse. “Oops!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: “What happened here, man?” “Pff, my mother-in-law died, “he said. “Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, … Read more
A man wasn’t feeling well so he went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. “Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You really don’t have much time to live. . “ “Doctor. . ! How much … Read more
One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run… but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus … Read more
Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”. Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have an electric car”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his arse!” The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the … Read more
At a men’s clothing store, a customer asked the shop assistant to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband’s blue eyes stand out. “Ma’am, “he explained, “any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A lawyer and an accountant were having cocktails in the Caribbean. The lawyer said “I’m here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. “ “That’s quite a coincidence”, said the accountant, “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed … Read more