Jokes Ltd

Boss Yells

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A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8. 30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8. 30?’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Dog I’ll Bet

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A guy comes walking into a bar with a turtle in his hand. The turtle’s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged, and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The bartender looks at the guy and asks: “What’s wrong with your turtle?” “Not a thing, “the man … Read more

Reception Desk Takes

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After a heavy night at the pub, a drunken man decides to sleep off his drunkenness at a local hotel. He approaches the reception desk, takes care of the formalities and heads off to his suite. Several minutes later, the drunk staggers back to the reception desk and demands his room be changed. “But sir, … Read more

Manic Depression

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A psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving give an oral quiz to the freshman class. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair … Read more

Awkward Situation

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A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. “See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation!” “So it’s the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another … Read more

Jewish Hooker

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A gent is sitting alone at the bar in Caesars Palace. A Jewish hooker comes over to him and asks him if he would like some company. “How much, honey?” “$800. “ “800???” “Are you crazy? Every other woman that came over wanted $400!” The Jewish hooker thought about it for a second and then … Read more

Caddy Yes

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Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?” Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Nath Theyth Sthill

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A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the salesclerk. “Well, they feel a bit tight, “replies the blonde. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet. “Try pulling the tongue out, “offers the clerk. “Nath, … Read more

Dollar Bill – Hunters Stalking

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Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. “Well, go in the bushes. “ “What should I use to wipe my ass?” “Use a dollar bill. “ A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with shit all over his … Read more

Official Act

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A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s … Read more