Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
An elderly American couple went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker explained to the husband that, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000 or you can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150”. The man thought about it and told him that he … Read more
A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spotted a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, “Don’t waste your time on that one. She’s a lesbian. “ The blonde guy goes over to her anyway and says, “So which part of Lesbia are you from?” … Read more
A man walks into work with two black eyes. His boss asks what happened. The man says, “I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square … Read more
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two men are discussing their love lives. One says, “I’m getting married. I’m sick of a messy apartment, dirty dishes, and no clothes to wear. “ The other one says, “Hey, I’m getting divorced for the same reasons. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband’s voice was heard answering, “Hello Margaret, this is meeee… “ “Fred, “she answered. I just … Read more
A man goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five shots. The bartender gives him an odd look since he’s all by himself, but he serves up the five shots and lines them up on the bar. The man downs them all quickly. He finishes the last one and calls … Read more
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively … Read more
All the merry men and Maid Marion, gathered around Robin Hood’s deathbed, waiting for the inevitable end. Manfully, heroically, Robin struggled up and said “Friar Tuck, bring me my longbow. I will fire an arrow out the window and wherever it lands, that is where you will bury me. “ Deeply moved, they placed a … Read more
One day a man found an odd-looking lamp and rubbed it. From inside came a genie that told him he would get three wishes, but whatever he wishes for, his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. “What would you like for your first wish?” asked the genie. “I want one billion dollars, “replies the … Read more