Jokes Ltd

Vanilla Ice Cream

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A Penguin is driving down the street when suddenly his car breaks down in the hot desert. He calls a towing service and takes it to the nearest shop in some small town he’s never been in. Mechanic tells him it’s going to be awhile. The penguin says, “No problem. I’ll just go across the … Read more

Aids Infected

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A boy went into a whore house and said he wanted an AIDS’s infected prostitute. The woman at reception said “Room 12 top of the hall. “ He went to the room and did his business. When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her to be AIDS infected. The boy answered, “When … Read more

Dollar Haircuts

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Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain. One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette. The other lady said, “Hey, that’s a good idea. What’s that called?” The lady responded, “It’s a condom. “ The other lady said, “Where … Read more

Wide-Eyed Lad

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A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event. The man thought to himself, “Great, he’s four years old and I’m gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the … Read more

Rottweiler Jesus

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A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. “Jesus is gonna get you. “ The robber ignored it, and took the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. “Jesus is gonna get you. “ The robber started to get a little worried. … Read more

Hunter Visited

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A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife. “ “What’s he stuffed with, “asked the visiting hunter. “My … Read more

Aunt Responded

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One day little Johnny went with his aunt to a zoo. Little Johnny pointed to a donkey that had a black and long erected penis more than 20 inches long. So he asked his aunt what was that. His aunt responded: “That is nothing” The other month when he went with his mother to the … Read more

Crime Committed

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A duck, a pigeon, and a chicken all walk into a courtroom… The judge asked the duck, “What is your crime?” The duck responds, “I was blowing bubbles in front of City Hall. “ The judge says, “There’s no crime committed here, you’re free to go. “ The judge then asks the pigeon, “What is … Read more

Sign Hung Outside

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Jasper : “Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?” Doctor: “Your eyesight seems to be poor. “ Jasper: “How did you come to that conclusion?” Doctor: “You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more