Jokes Ltd 
A tourist parked his car in downtown Washington, D. C. He said to a man standing near the curb, “Listen, I’m going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?” “What?” the man huffed. “Do you realize that I am a member of the United … Read more
Dr. Burns was disgusted when Frank staggered into his office thoroughly inebriated. He looked at him severely. “What happened, Frank? I thought we were going to lick this problem by cutting you down to just two drinks a day. “ Frank dragged a finger across his chest. “Cross my heart, doc, I did as you … Read more
While giving a physical the doctor noticed that his patient’s shins were covered with dark bruises. “Tell me, “said the doctor, “do you play hockey or soccer?” “Neither, “said the man. “My wife and I play bridge. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A young woman greeted the census taker. “Good morning, “said the caller, “I’m taking the census and I’d like to ask you a few questions. Occupation?” “Homemaker, “replied the woman. “Husband’s occupation?” “Manufacturer. “ “Children?” “No, “said the woman. “Dresses. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more
A down and out musician was playing his harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman asked, “May I please see your permit?” “I don’t have one, “confessed the musician. “In that case, you’ll have to accompany me. “ “Splendid!” exclaimed the musician. “What shall we sing?” This joke is … Read more
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered. “ The second said, “I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in … Read more
Two philosophers were sitting at a restaurant, discussing whether or not there was a difference between misfortune and disaster. “There is most certainly a difference, “said one. “If the cook suddenly died and we couldn’t have our dinner that would be a misfortune, but certainly not a disaster. On the other hand, if a cruise … Read more
In a small town,a homeless man with no relatives had recently passed away. A professional singer was contacted by the priest who asked if she would sing at the funeral. The priest informed her that, since he had no relatives or money, the man would be buried in a paupers grave in the countryside, and … Read more
A cruise ship full of Mother-in-Laws was heading towards Hawaii for a week when their ship capsized killing everyone. Their families cried for a whole week. But after 3 weeks one man was still crying, so the people asked him why he was still crying. The man replies, “My Mother-in-Law missed the darn boat!” This … Read more
A man goes to a psychologist and says, “Doc I have a real problem, I can’t stop thinking about relations. “ The psychologist says, “Well let’s see what we can find out”, and pulls out his ink blots. “What is this a picture of?” he asks. The man turns the picture upside down then turns … Read more