Jokes Ltd Doctor: “What seems to be the problem today?” Patient: “Doc, I’ve got the farts. I mean I fart all the time. “ The Doctor nods, “Hmm. “ Patient: “My farts do not stink and you can’t hear them. It’s just that I fart all the time. Look, we’ve been talking here for about 10 minutes … Read more
A blonde was driving down the motorway when she read a sign saying, “Clean toilets ahead, 8 miles on the left. “ She was really late for her appointment since there were 17 toilets to clean. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only one ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asked an accountant. “Watch and you’ll see”, answered an engineer. They all boarded … Read more
As the herd of cows were traveling, one of them was falling behind. She shouted out to the others that she could not run any faster. She shouted, “Slow down, my calves are killing me!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A woman walks into her psychiatrist’s office and says, “Hey Doc, you know how we have been talking about saying things that don’t come out the way we meant them to?” The psychiatrist replies, “You mean Freudian slips?” “Exactly, those. Well, I had the most amazing one last night. I was eating dinner with my … Read more
An old man went to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gave him a clean bill of health. “You’re in excellent shape for a 75-year-old man, “he said. “But I’m afraid I can’t make you any younger. “ “Who asked you to make me … Read more
“Doctor!” said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, “I want you to tell me very frankly what’s wrong with me?” He surveyed her from head to foot. “Madam, “he said at length, “I’ve just three things to tell you. First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use … Read more
Craig was sitting on a lawn, sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn. Craig helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a lawn chair. “My goodness, “Craig exclaimed. “You are quite old to be driving!” “Yes, … Read more
The Doctor told Frank to avoid any unnecessary stress… To comply, Frank did not open his bill. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An elderly couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the Senior Special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1. 99. “Sounds good, “the woman said. “But I don’t want the eggs. “ “Then I’ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte, “the waitress … Read more