Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
A sergeant gives a private a hard time. He says, “Private, I bet you are just waiting for me to die so you can come and urinate on my grave!” The private replied, “No sir, when I get out of the army I am not going to stand in long, long lines!” This joke is … Read more
The pastor of a local church was visited by a man evidently worse for liquor, and a young lady. She said to the minister, “Please, sir, we’ve come to be married. “ “I can’t marry you with this man in this condition, “said the clergyman. “Besides, haven’t you been here twice before, and haven’t I … Read more
A young Navy officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he wasn’t physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance. … Read more
When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a school teacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a school teacher to appear before this court, “he smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write ‘I will not pass through … Read more
A shopkeeper goes to the police to say that he has been robbed. A shoplifter came into his shop, he says, opened a packet of biscuits and ate some of them. Then the man just walked out without paying. The police find the man and bring him in. “I’ve done nothing wrong, “he says. “The … Read more
Two women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, “Seems like all my boyfriend and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset I’ve lost 20 pounds in two weeks. “ “Why don’t you just leave him then?” asked her friend. “Not yet, “the first replied, “I’d like to … Read more
Wife: “Darling, it was such a hard day. Would you tell me the three magical words that always make me so happy?” Husband: “You are right. “ Wife: “Very funny, no, the other ones. “ Husband: “I was wrong. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A girl walks into a dry cleaner. She drops off her dress and turns to leave. The woman behind the counter says, “Come again!”. She says, “No it was toothpaste this time. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two friends die and one goes to Heaven while the other goes to Hell. The one that goes to Heaven begs the angel to let him visit his friend in Hell, and the angel agrees. He gets to Hell and sees his friend surrounded by beautiful women and alcohol everywhere. He says to his friend, … Read more
Making conversation with the boy the pediatrician asked the six-year-old patient, “Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?” “A box of Tampax, “he replied without hesitation. “Tampax?” said the doctor. “What would you do with that?” “Well, “said Johnny, “I do not know exactly, but … Read more