Jokes Ltd 
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go right up … Read more
A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair. An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, “What’s the matter, old man, didn’t you ever do anything wild in your life?” And the old man says, “Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I … Read more
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a … Read more
Reporter: “Excuse me, may I interview you?” Man: “Yes!” Reporter: “Name?” Man: “Abdul Al-Rhazim. “ Reporter: “Sex?” Man: “Three to five times a week. “ Reporter: “No no! I mean male or female?” Man: “Yes, male, female… sometimes camel. “ Reporter: “Holy cow!” Man: “Yes, cow, sheep… animals in general. “ Reporter: “But isn’t that … Read more
A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately. “ The guy says OK, and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving … Read more
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “What is this Father?” The father, who has never seen an elevator, responded, “Son, … Read more
A witness was called to stand to testify about a head-on automobile collision. “Whose fault was this accident?” the lawyer asked. “As near as I could tell, “replied the witness, “they hit each other at about the same time. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A man sat down at a bar and told the bartender, “I bet you three hundred dollars that I can piss into the cup all the way over there on the other side of the bar and not miss a single drop. “ The bartender said, “There is no way you can do that. Sure, … Read more
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave. “ The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army … Read more
A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number and she says, “Free, sex, free, sex, tonight. “ The guy said, “wow” and her friend said she meant 363629. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.