Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porn theater to … Read more
The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied, he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he received a response of about 80 percent. … Read more
The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will. “ “That is very kind of you, “said the doctor emotionally, and … Read more
Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night. The first guy says, “Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks. “ The second guy says, “I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch. “ The third guy says, … Read more
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. “First body: Frenchman, 65, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner. “Second body: Scotsman, 28, won a … Read more
At a parole hearing, the officer asked, “Tell me, why should you be released early?” The inmate responded, “It’s bec… “ Officer: “Yes?” Inmate: “I think I have. . “ Officer: “Go on. “ Inmate: “Can I Please finish my sentence?” Officer: “Sure. Parole denied. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
Three men were having a drink together at the local pub. The first one says, “… You know, where I’m from, there’s a bar called “O’Kelly’s”, where you buy a drink, then you buy another drink, and then O’Kelly himself buys you a drink. “ The second man then says, “Well…where I’m from, there’s a … Read more
A man comes home late one night, drunk. “Where have you been?” asks his wife. “I was in the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!” This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, so she calls the Golden Bar. “Do you have golden chairs?” “Yes. “ “Do you … Read more
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat. “ The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to … Read more
Mitchell saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient. “In over 20 years I haven’t because I try to remain professional. “ With that Mitchell dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen. It wasn’t any bigger than a AAA battery. The doctor burst into uncontrollable … Read more